Dave and I got our miracle baby after 9 years of trying. It took us 2 IUI’s and on the 7th ICSI procedure success. Many people ask me “How did you manage to keep going and what made the difference this time?”

We both wanted children and we kept this in our minds all the time. I visualized us with a baby everyday and knew that it would happen one day, in God’s timing, not ours. I knew if we didn’t keep trying with the procedures it would never happen. We went through the adoption route as well just in case that was successful but never stopped trying to have our own child. We even went to the infertility clinic in Denver, USA whilst visiting my sister in 2006 as it is reportedly one of the best in USA and we thought maybe they do things differently. But the SA methodologies were all the same as what they do, it just would have cost us 5 times as much with the same chance of success as we have in SA. So you may as well try 5 times in SA and you have a better chance of success!

I think it is a numbers game, the more you try the more likely you are to succeed! We were 33 when we started trying and at that stage it seemed to be low sperm count but no major concerns. By the last attempt my eggs and the sperm had deteriorated in number and quality so we knew there weren’t many more attempts left. After having been to 2 other specialists and trying 6 times, we decided to try Dr. Ramdeo and the C.A.R.E clinic. It was close to home so no stress in travelling, the clinic did everything under one roof and the staff were friendly and personal. We felt well taken care of.

The only thing different in procedure was that we did a chromosome check on the embryo’s before putting them back so we knew they were good. This is the first clinic to suggest this and be able to offer this. At my age, the chances of bad chromosomes increase hugely so this eliminated wasting our time with bad embryo’s. Luckily I had 2 good embryo’s to put back.

The other thing about the C.A.R.E clinic being close to home was that I could be closely monitored. Timing is very important as well as the technician/laboratory with ICSI as this is a most delicate procedure. You need to be able to pop in for a blood test, a scan, etc every couple of days so the eggs are retrieved at the right time and then put back at the right stage. At the C.A.R.E clinic I think they really take pride in what they do and as their motto states they’re always striving for success. Each patient and transfer is done meticulously; you don’t feel like a number.

I would just like to stress that a life style change impacts enormously on the success of treatments. In my case I had to slow down. I was known as a Type A personality- the pace with which I approached life was one of constant stress, running from one thing to another, never having enough time to do the stuff I needed/ wanted to do. So I made a decision to not allow life to stress me but to enjoy everything I do. For me that included cooking every night! I also stopped highlighting my hair, cut down coffee/caffeine (particularly men should avoid coffee altogether) to one-two cups a day, cut down drinking alcohol to 3 a week (stopped during treatments), drank 2 ltrs water a day, changed diet (basically low GI diet) and cut out all processed foods, wheat, sugar, flour, ate 5 fresh fruit and vegetables a day (we started eating like this 3 years ago and never wavered), only drank appletiser other than water and went on a comprehensive vitamin and mineral supplement program for preparing my body to fall pregnant. I became a GNLD agent and used their protein shake which provides 22 proteins, giving the body the correct energy for healthy cells and carotenoid complex for increasing my immune system, amongst others. I had visited an alternative therapist for 8 months and he had found my energy levels to be low, particularly my pancreas “heart” beat which regulates your hormones. I also tried acupuncture for about the same period but that didn’t seem to do anything for me. I then started going for electromagnetic screening on the BEST machine. This aligns your meridians, clears any bacterial infections, viruses or allergies and repairs damaged areas thus preventing health problems and ensuring optimum health. This treatment is slow as the treatment is homeopathic but it certainly identifies problem areas. My first session was a detox and left me with diarrhea and vomiting for 2 days as it cleared all the chemicals and toxins in my body. The other treatment I did was energy healing which increases the energy fields and aligns your chakras. It focuses you on the present and helps you to increase love, joy and peace in your life. I also learnt deep breathing technique which I did for 5-10mins in the morning and night. This increased the oxygen in my body, improved my immune system and slowed me down. Every time I felt stressed I would deep breathe and focus on slowing down. In retrospect, I don’t think I achieved any less than when I was flying around stressful but I now was able to do everything at a peaceful pace and didn’t get worked up over it.

To be honest I think mostly you have to make space for children in your lives and I had to realize that. We have many people to thank for their prayers and efforts in bringing baby James into our lives on 26th April 2008, 4 weeks prem but healthy and beautiful. It has been quite a journey teaching us peace and patience but now we’re receiving the love and joy.